Let's start with...
FASHION!
Here in New Orleans, it's Sprimmer, or pre-Summer. This season usually lasts about two weeks before cascading into full blown Summer, though sometimes it rolls back into another freeze, then bypasses Sprimmer for Summer. Though the pictures are inadequate today, I have an example of good shorts-weather attire, and a good explanation of shitty shorts-weather attire.
Good
- The shorts are distressed, but don't have holes in them. They are a nice semi-dark wash, but are very soft and light and breathable; good for Nola heat.
- The shorts are short, but not showing ass, cellulite, or pubic hair.
- The top is colorful and flattering with a v-neck, which shows off collarbone and shoulders without too much cleavage.
- Tucking the shirt in lets the belt define the waistline (w/o tight fabric suffocating your skin) and proves you have a crotch. Hiding your crotch is a sure fire way to make you seem short(er) and like you have stubby legs. Elongate your gams, girls!
- Comfortable, simple flats with arch support are in. TOMS=love.
- The sweater compliments the lavender in the shirt, but isn't too heavy. (Optional)
- The deep brown leather with bronze is a soft, yet rustic touch.
- The locket (hard to see) matches the bronze belt buckle. (Optional)
- And a smile is always in season.
Bad
- Those are athletic shorts. If you aren't sleeping or doing some form of athletics, step away from the spandex! Not only do you look sloppy, you look completely unprofessional. I wear these on campus as rarely as possible. I feel the need to give the professors the courtesy of me wearing real clothes to class.
- The shorts are so tight and thin, I can see your panties. Gross. I don't want to see a camel toe in the front either, ladies, even grosser. Not only that, but they barely cover the ass. Can you imagine if she bent over?! How much butt and vagina is enough?!?
- Bra straps slip out on every girl, it happens, but if your shirt has a racer-back, use a proper bra.
- Tight, thin wife-beaters are lounge shirts and undershirts. My older brothers got on my case all the time when I was younger about how sloppy and skanky I looked walking outside in one. Colored or nicer tank tops are cheap, try that instead.
That's my fashion commentary for the day! I'm by no means a prude, so if you got that message, you weren't reading correctly. On a slight tangent, I, personally, embrace European/Asian/Anywhere but America ideals about sexuality and the human body. Puritans and censors be damned! My body is beautiful and deserves to be loved/shown off/embraced/worked/fed/photographed/worshiped/seen! However, I believe there are sensible ways to show it off, being shorts that accentuate my hips and butt without revealing if I tan my rosy cheeks with the rest of my body. Same with my boobs; they're huge and should be flaunted without flashing everyone. I'm going to stop before I let this tangent go on into slightly feminist notions regarding expletives, sex, the right to choose (anything, not abortion stuff, kiddies) the power of the vagina, and a certain professor at my school...whose class I don't even take...
Next on the menu:
FOOD FOOD NOM NOM NOM.
I'll take you back to last night and last winter with this entry. The most recent first, last night was definitely an experiment night. With only mild explorations on the web for ideas, I needed a tasty, light, healthy(ish) dish to use my sweet bell peppers and cherry tomatoes. I went back to my Mediterranean pasta I made Valentine's day (sorry, no pictures :( I know, I've failed you, World) and decided to use that technique. And thus Bell Pepper Pasta was conceived!
To begin, sauté a yellow and orange bell pepper in olive oil. I just covered the pan bottom and added more as I saw fit. OO is my best friend, and I hope you two will get along nicely, too.
Over low heat, sauté for about 15 mins, adding a splash of Vanilla Vodka 3/4 of the way through. Now here, kiddies, is where I goofed a little. I intended to use the mass load of cherry tomatoes my boymate's mom gave us, but I couldn't successfully cut the suckers, so I decided to spoon in gratuitous amounts of this organic Bruschetta topping. The Bruschetta consisted of diced tomatoes, olive oil, basil, and garlic. I added a few dashes of garlic powder, anyway, and let this cook down for about 20-30 mins, adding OO periodically when I thought necessary. Cook up some spaghetti, drain, add some OO, then mix in the bell pepper and Bruschetta sauce. Add some grated parmesian cheese, have one final toss, and viola!
Not the best picture, but you get the drift. Sorry I didn't have it plated pretty, I was EXTREMELY hungry when I made this and juggling a baking project, too. I cook in the Italian spirit: Cook according to taste, sight, and smell; not a set recipe. "It's more like guidelines than actual rules..." Side note: I found tongs work best for tossing pasta with sauces like this.
I also dabbled in the realm of baking...which is dangerous to do sans recipe...but I did it anyway :P
Here's Emmy's version of Easy Apple Cobbler:
For a 8x4 bread pan, I used
- 1 apple
- half a box yellow cake mix
- 1/2 cup sugar
- 1/2 cup brown sugar
- cinnamon
- 1 stick butter
- 1 cup water
- NOTE: I'm guessing on the amounts I actually used
Peel and thinly slice the apple, then put slices in the bottom of the pan. Fill the pan with enough water to cover the bottom and cover 1/4 of the apples (in other words, not too much, but make sure you can see water on each side of pan). I used a handful of brown sugar, a handful of white sugar, and a hefty sprinkling of cinnamon (to taste, really), then mixed/tossed the apples to coat evenly. Pour about half the bag of dry cake mix on top the apples and smooth out the top. Cut the butter into squares and cover the entire top of the mix. Mine worked out perfectly with rows of 3 squares. Sprinkle some brown sugar and cinnamon on top. Here, I get a little complicated only because I haven't experimented enough to see if the outcome varies with temp. If you know better, feel free to do it without all the fuss. Bake at 375 for 15 mins, 300 for 35, and 350 for 10-20 mins. Turn the oven off and let cool in there for a bit. It's delicious, golden, slightly crispy, and incredibly rich and sugary--just the way cobbler, to me, is supposed to be. It feeds two fatty pigs like my boymate and I very comfortably, or 4-6 regular people.
Something I had touched on in my lest entry was the amazing power of hummus. I will probably be singing its praises all blog long, so get used to it, World. I thought back to a strange breakfast/pizza alternative I created once (though not so healthy) was absolutely delicious. I call it Wowzza for obvious reasons.
Essentially, I was hungry and rummaged through the boymate's mom's kitchen for food only to find random stuff. Being hungry for me is like being on drugs, I get really creative and make random shit. This masterpiece consists of Tandoori Naan bread, toasted, with hummus and some sweet onion and yellow pepper salsa/jelly. I then fried/grilled some bacon and sandwich turkey and threw that on top. Next we have spinach drizzled with a little Croatian olive oil and apple cider vinegar. Crowning my creation is one friend egg. Ridiculus, I know. But it tasted so good, especially with the pepper stuff. This is just one of my many hummus featured creations. Thank you for tuning in.
I'll get into juicy stuff about life tomorrow, World. Why not end on such a good, tasty note?
Me ke aloha,
Emmy Bird
